Monday, July 25, 2016

Thursday, July 21, 2016

humansofnewyork: “She committed suicide a week prior to our...



humansofnewyork:

“She committed suicide a week prior to our thirtieth anniversary. Our oldest daughter had died of leukemia a couple years earlier. Holly took it extra hard. We drifted apart. We’d parse our words. Nothing was natural anymore: ‘Do we talk this way?’ ‘Do we laugh at this moment?’ ‘ Do we even have a right to laugh?’ But I still thought we were doing OK. Things weren’t like they used to be. But I still thought things were OK. We rented a hotel room for our thirtieth anniversary. I was supposed to meet her there after work. She overdosed on pills before I got there. I don’t know why she did it that way. She said in her note that she wasn’t angry, but I don’t know why she did it that way. I fell apart. I started drinking a lot and doing cocaine. I lost my job. One day I was giving a presentation after being up all night on drugs, and I just started hallucinating. I thought one of the clients was Holly. I stopped the presentation and started calling her name. The company was nice about it. They gave me a nice severance package. But I gave all the money to my kids. I’ve been on the streets ever since. It’s been eight years. My kids have tried to give me the money back but I won’t take it. I ride the subways at night. If it’s warm enough, I sleep on a bench. I read a little. I write a little. I go to the soup line in the morning. I’m just existing. I wasn’t a good husband. I wasn’t a good father. And now I’m doing penance.”


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"A book can teach you, a conversation can assure you, a poem can seduce you, a genius can inspire you..."

“A book can teach you, a conversation can assure you, a poem can seduce you, a genius can inspire you but only you can save yourself.”

- Anthony Anaxagorou
(via wnq-anonymous)

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humansofnewyork: “I sliced the tendons in my finger while...



humansofnewyork:

“I sliced the tendons in my finger while trying to cut away some waterproofing. I’d taken a few pain pills before, but I’d never been handed hundreds of them. Eventually I was taking twenty pills a day. I was going through a divorce at the time so I was pretty unstable. Back then you could ‘doctor shop:’ run one prescription through insurance, pay cash for two more. After three years I went to a treatment center and they put me on something called Suboxone. It took me four years to get off that stuff. The withdrawals were terrible. It’s almost as bad as the pain pills. And get this—the same people making the pain pills are making Suboxone. They sell you drugs to get off their drugs. It’s all a money game. Listen, it was my choice to take the pills. I know it was my fault. But somebody out there made a lot of money off my weakness.”


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Friday, July 15, 2016